i tried something out of the ordinary today.. well, out of the ordinary for me in this case... picked up the courage to lift Little Afeeq Danish up from the bed...

i wasnt dat brave enough when Isadora was younger.. i wouldnt mind receiving it from someone else's hand.. coz im quite used to dat.. but to pick him up from the bed directly was definitely something which i have phobia for...

i guess its the never tried it before... and not knowing the tactics of doing so dat made the fear so great...

quite a few things ran thru my mind... will he be in pain?? will he feel uncomfy?? will his neck break?? gosh!

u may call it paranoid... u may laugh.. but for fuck sake... i dont carry small babies ard me everyday of my life rite?

dat wasnt so bad... i made it through the process of lifting him up...

now for the next process...

feeding him milk... it sounded like an easy process for me initially... do i just force the tip of the bottle into his mouth?? or do i do it slowly??

i seriously think there is no sense of fatherly love to a baby in me at this point of time.. a process dat is so simple seemed like a hard task...

but fuck everything.. i was able to do what i intended to do in the end...

managed to find a comfy way for me to allow him to burp as well.. dat was the chicken feet part.. although the way i see it.. he's like not in a comfy position... but since my sis said its perfectly fine... why bother to change rite?

and... he fell asleep straight after.. he actually snuggled himself close to my body... gosh! dat felt so good... i felt a sense of satisfaction... since i did the whole process all by myself...

i guess wat a fren mentioned is true... spending time with your own family is the best thing that anyone could do for the day...

the whole process although it was fast and quick.. there was a sense of satisfaction... being with a family... and during the process... my mum and sis just stood one corner to see... they must be laughing at the idea that my smile was wide, from one cheek to another... a smile that rarely comes by wen im home..

i guess i am busy with my work and personal life that i never do actually took time to be with the people who r supposed to be the closest towards me - family.. i overlooked everything..

maybe wat my dad commented before was also true... you dont treat this home like a hotel.. u dont come and go as you please.. u have to take some time to see who r in it....

dat was back then... and its all another long story to tell...

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